Title of my book...

Ok so it has been brought to my attention that I should write a book. I think its for my friends mostly so that they can feel better about themselves seeing how screwed up life can actually be and how much God or whoever it is up above ( or in my case down below) can throw at one person before they hit the brink of insanity. I think I have hit that point but have been told crazy people don't know they're crazy so wtf do I know?
What I do know is that I usually in the lead of shit yet to come for my friends, weather it be the death of a parent or a child in need of surgery, I always have to go first. SERIOUSLY C'MON ALREADY!!!! Kidding peeps, I hope you all have health happiness and luck on your sides but just wish that when I get one of the dreaded calls from you stating the death of a loved one or some other life altering news that I couldn't relate. All too often that is not the case, and all too often you know I'm not going to sugarcoat shit when you do call. It's what you have all reminded me of on numerous occasions, that I have no filter and am brutally honest. I've tried I really, really have and I'm sorry for those who I offend, know that I am not out to hurt anyone (usually) I just have a low tolerance for bullshit.
Stupid people annoy me and stupid terms even more so. " They're no longer suffering" REALLY??? REALLY??? Ok so those are the only 2 options DEATH or SUFFERING? SHUT the FUCK UP , here's your sign! or another good one... "they're in a better place" OK yeah cause being with us the people who loved them was NOT where they wanted to be?  Enough with your rehearsed terms of endearment we don't like them and we don't want to hear them anymore. ANYWAY I could rant on but alot of you probably have already heard my lecture on the subject so we'll leave it at that.
Btw when I use "we" it means me and some of my diluted friends think the same, and alot of my blogs will be quotes from conversations "we" have had, I am not taking credit for all of the witty and always right comments , just MOST of them.
Any title suggestions for my new book? Jenn thinks that when this current stage in my life has passed it should be called " How to Survive Absolutely Fucking Everything" but I'm not sure it's surviving if you are a nutcase when it's all said and done?? I suggested" How to Drive a Girl to an Early Grave" but was told THAT would never sell, it's all about the marketing.
P.S always remember stress kills and laughter heals , so lets keep laughing my friends. Life's too short to be serious all the time.